Jun 29, 2005
ok so this is going to be really smart.
I like to make up for my dumb blogs with something really intelligent. So let me think. I really have not been doing much of that lately. So people are social beings right? They like to talk to people and spend time with other people. Why? I mean some people are really dumb. Is it just the way people are or is it because of the way people are raised? It is again nature vs nurture. Also why do tramatic things effect some people one way and another person will react in a compeletey different way?? I guess its just the way people handle stress..some do well others dont. Or maybe you think they are fine from the outside but really they are not fine inside. I think that people also react in ways that you can't directly relate to the stress but it is caused by the event. This is kinda obvious.. umm right; how will we be in the future. I mean humans? We now handle nonthreating stress the same way as threating stress. Will that change?
arg. You know what is dumb? Orginal people. Like all the "punks" at endfest. I mean how thousands of people say they are punks. Its dumb. If you dress in black and say you are a non-comformist then you are a comformist because you are COPYING all the people who are punks. Its really dumb. Sorry Pria. But I mean is there a way to not be like everyone else? I mean who do you know that has not copyed someone? But if we all are different and have unique minds then why are we all so alike?? Because someone said you must fit into the mold. Even people who define themselves as "punks" are just filling another space. But why do we follow this image? I don't really know. Why do we listen to people? Usually its because they are right. If you dont want to get hurt fit in. But know its "cool" not to fit in. Like everyone started wearing converse and adding punk elements to their clothes to be "different" except everyone was doing it. (myself included). Hmm.. interesting. Why was it that we said it is cool to not fit in, but really it did not matter because if you did not fit in , you dont fit in. Attitudes did not change just style. hmm..
Posted at 05:13 pm by katyann
Permalink
sometimes i feel really really dumb. i really should try harder in school. i always do really well first semester but then second semester i fall. i hate it!!! arg i feel bored and i feel like crying. poop. lol i am dumb. poop. no one reads these anymore do they? oh well. my thoughts. my place. mine! omg i feel retarded. so far this summer i have not taken my meds. hmm.. i kinda forgot about them. that could be why i cant seem to think!!! ok so sometimes i just need to write about stuff. this is fun. oh i noticed that i hate liars and ignorers. lol what a word. ignorers. ok so i am noticing the lack of medication. whatever. i am going to win. i always do. hell ya. concentration!!! lol.
ok so i was gunna write stuff here but it turned into a conversation between me and my invisible friends so i decided to erase it. it was kinda weird. let me try again.
ok so that did not work either.
ok so i have a boyfriend now. like anyone does not already know. whatever. i just wanted to put it in here.
hell yes. ok. bye.
Posted at 04:46 pm by katyann
Permalink
Jun 5, 2005
OMG endfest was amazing and friday was amazing and omg!! I am now addicted to myspace. It is kinda sad but hey.. and then i am going to be at my moms house and i wont be able to be online late boohoo. but yesterday and friday were sooooo amazing i have it all on myspace. I love it. hehe <333333333333333333
Posted at 07:17 pm by katyann
Permalink
Jun 1, 2005
So thank God I took out my frustrations and my worries in the blog than at someone. I feel Alot better almost as if I had a good cry but I did not cry. I think the bad chemicals are gone or something.. I think It is defeintly stress plus pms. So I can't wait till friday cause I am going to see london. But the big thing is that he found me on myspace and we have been conversing. That previous entry was about my frusrtations with myself because he did not reply yet but the thing I was mad at was myself because I was so sad that he did not reply. I was anger that I waited and have become so opsessed with my space. I now can be happy again. YAY!!!! <3
Posted at 10:03 pm by katyann
Permalink
So I think I am going crazy. I really am starting to not like myself right now. Please let everything turn out okay. Let me not be an idiot. Please oh please. I cant eat or sleep or think and I dont want to be like this, please let this be pms. I want to cry. Please let me not be so dumb and i should stop beating myself up. Today I was happy but now I am getting into one of my moods. It is hunger and tiredness and pms. When will I stop worring my stupid head off? I can't handle the stress!!!
I need serious help.
I was going to say how happy i was for this weekend and music but ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Shitty SHitty Shit. I can't be like this.... help!!! I dont want to feel this much about someone and then just have my hopes and feelings shot to shit. I don't want to be dependent on someone for increaseing my moods. I fucking hate crushes. Becasue I know they wont turn out the way i want at all. please i need cheering up....
Posted at 09:51 pm by katyann
Permalink
May 25, 2005
I love the sun!! So english was a little bad and health yesterday was just disturbing. I will say no more.
I painted my nails last night, hot pink. It is a very summer color. I feel like I have been acting really stupid lately. Oh well.. Yesterday was a really bad day now that I think about it. Today was a small improvement. I really don't want to depend on boys for my happiness. I don't want looking forward to seeing boys as my only way to look forward to in the future. So I need a new hobby. HMM.. I may just need a change in attitude. I think I must look forward to the small things that are good and make me happy. I must also have confidence in myself.
Posted at 02:20 pm by katyann
Permalink
May 18, 2005
So I feel in a pretty good mood. I watched lifetime channel. Its pretty cool. So it was this love story The princess and the marine and I was happy in the end cause everything worked out and then at the end credits (cause it was based on a real story) they say the ppl got divorced 5 years later. I was like what! That is really dumb. You just spent an hour telling us this really nice love story then you ruin it by telling us they got divorced!! AHHHH!! Anyways I am still in a good mood. So no one blogs anymore. It makes me sad. It also makes me feel a little lame , but i dont care!!!!!! I feel rebellious but in a good way...hehe. I really need to get back on track with homework and all... blah. I get my stiches off tomorrow yay!!! <3
Posted at 07:46 pm by katyann
Permalink
May 7, 2005
So the surgery went well. I am still a little loopy. I want to thank pria and everyone for the presents. I am really tired right now, it may be time for another nap. I have been sleeping so much. I can walk on my knee so it is better than last time. My medicine is starting to wear off so my knee kinda hurts and I am going to take more pain pills at 9:45 so I have 20 minutes to go. I have no idea what I am going to wear on monday because nohting fits around the huge bandage execpt sweatpant, shorts and skirts. I need to go lie back down now and put my knee up. Hope everyone is having fun... Whoa i really need to go bye.......
Posted at 09:24 pm by katyann
Permalink
May 5, 2005
My mommy sent me flowers. They are very pretty. I think she feels bad that she can not be at my surgery tomorrow. I will see her later tomorrow though... So I was feeling a lot of stress ealier today because of everything. I sorta forgot you are not supposed to eat before surgey for a lot of hours and I don't know how many so... they also did not tell me that I should not eat, so I am not taking my chances. Also I am just stressed from the last few weeks. I think the AP test went well for me though. I am not allowed to talk about it. I also was scared to go in front of the health class and talk about my ADD, I know we did not have to talk about ourselves, but I wanted to show the class that not only dumb people have ADD. Dear God just let tomorrow morning be over... also I hope I am not too druged up so I can go see London play. I must be strong. I will be strong. I am strong. I can do this.
Posted at 03:55 pm by katyann
Permalink
Apr 29, 2005
So my dot was black at the bus stop, but that could just be because it was cold. Then when I got home I did my stress reduction that I am trying to do for health and I got it to blue-green! I sit and meditate for stress reduction. I have been very stressed with the surgery coming up soon....
Grateful journal: good food , flowers, rain, family, fridays!!
Posted at 04:14 pm by katyann
Permalink
